“What we don’t need in the midst of struggle is shame for being human.” — Brené Brown

As a trauma therapist, one of my favorite modalities to use is the investigation of the inner-child. When I used to hear the phrase “inner-child” I thought it sounded corny and made up. I carried that feeling with me until I really dove deep into what the inner-child is and how it affects us at our cores. I have never had a client who even realized that they had a wounded inner child, until it was pointed out to them.

People don’t recognize this significant wounding because the inner-child is the subconscious part of ourselves that is running the show of our life, until it is tended to and healed. This can show up as an inner-child choosing people who are similar to an insensitive or toxic caregiver, to replay that relationship in an attempt to fix it this time around. Or it might mean carrying around the belief that you are weird or awkward because that is what you were told as a child. In many cases people just accept these traits as “part of my (their) personality” when in fact they are coping mechanisms that developed as a tool for survival during formative years.

For those who were abused or experienced trauma as a child, the wounded inner-child is much easier to identify because it had such a prominent impact on the individual’s life. If this isn’t you, that doesn’t mean that your anxiety, need for control, or avoidance of relationships are not connected to a wounded inner-child. Ask yourself about your anxiety, depression, and relationship issues. Are you able to see the golden thread that leads back to where it all started for you? Maybe you can’t see it clearly yet but you have a hunch that there is something deeper going on in your life and relationships that you don’t quite have control of yet. Together, I will lead you through identifying your wounded parts and processing the role they play in your life. Once you’ve identified where your behaviors and insecurities come from, they lose power over you. This gives us the opportunity to swoop in and gradually change your thought patterns and behaviors to something more desirable.